


Pathetic

by relliot



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cadets, Drift Bond, Drift Compatibility, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018) Fix-It, Partners to Lovers, The Drift (Pacific Rim)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 20:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17946284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relliot/pseuds/relliot
Summary: How Jake met Nate, how they became partners, how it all went downhill much faster than anyone could have anticipated.Alternative title: the relationship PRU denied us





	Pathetic

It was their first day. Twenty cadets piled into a large room standing shoulder to shoulder with one another, their bags strewn across the floor behind them, activities previously occupying their time left untouched as the rangers entered the room.

Arms locked behind their backs, standing at attention the way they were taught in basic camp, they watched their two trainers eyes them up and down with high levels of scrutinizing judgement. And then the door opened once more, and they all watched The Stacker Pentecost enter.

He gave a great speech. Jake didn't realize he had until he heard his fellow cadets raving about in later that night, but he had. Jake just watched him as he spoke, his words falling on deaf ears for all the wrong reasons.

Jake was only there for him.

That's not what he said, when he was asked, he always made some joke about him being the best of the best. But that was never the truth. He wanted to catch his father's attention, and he was good enough at this, he figured it'd be easy.

But not once did Stacker look his way as he paced along the line of cadets. Whatever inspiring words he gave regarding honor and trust and respect, he never looked to his son to see if he was following along. Jake didn't know what he expected, he had never gotten recognition from him, he was used to that. But even here, among his peers, his dad didn't even know he was there.

Stacker scanned the line for potential, everyone knew that. So when he stopped in front of pretty eyes from the states, Jake couldn't help but scoff a bit under his breath.

Sure, anyone else in the line might have had potential. But he was made for this. He was born, bred, and engineered to be the best ranger, the best pilot, the best son. And his father didn't even give him a first glance.

It was in that moment he decided he wouldn't care anymore.

If Stacker wasn't going to care, he sure as hell wasn't going to either.

"He doesn't want to hint at favoritism." Mako defended as they grabbed breakfast after early morning training one of their first days.

"Can't show what isn't there." Jake defended easily, nearly ripping his banana apart when it wouldn't quickly peel.

"He loves you Jake-"

"Yeah, that's what you tell me." Jake continued sarcastically, eventually giving up on the banana and squishing it into his plate without much of a second thought.

"Jake-"

"I've got training Mako, I'll see you later." He added, grabbing his tray and rushing from the table, leaving her sighing out disappointingly.

That day in training, he was already pissed off from his breakfast with Mako, thinking about his father always made him that way. For the past week, he had been practically phoning it in for these sessions but he had the energy to actually play today and was looking for a challenge.

Pretty eyes seemed to be fighting something himself too, ready to fight.

So Jake lined himself up near him, hoping to get the chance to knock his boyish chin into place. And luckily for him, he got exactly that.

"Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." Jake mocked as they stripped their boots and stepped onto the pad with batons in hand.

Nate didn't say anything back though, he didn't even laugh. It was kinda funny, Jake thought, he did it to get a response and yet he got nothing.

So he took the first hit, stepping forward and lunging with baton in hand. Nate easily deflected it, twisting his batons in a way to throw him off his rhythm. They both stumbled for a moment and Jake smirked to himself. He was looking for a fight and he was going to get it.

He lunges again, and again not making any contact. Nate was too fast on the deflect, countering every move he saw coming. Jake wasn't used to that. He could take down nearly every single one of the cadets without a second thought.

But Nate was everywhere he was, every hit he countered, every step, he stepped. It was like he was in his head and while every bone in his body told him they were compatible, his hot head screamed in anger. He was the best of the best and he deserved to be, he had everything going for him, he was the best.

And yet he couldn't do a single thing without Nate being there, two steps ahead of him. And he was starting to get tired of it all, actually he was just starting to get tired in general.

Nate could tell that too. So after one of Jake's biggest attempts at a hit, he lunged forward and landed a few of his own. And they just kept coming, Nate had a powerful hit, stronger than all of the others.

Jake was furious, and with all the energy he had left, he lunged forward, throwing himself his way. Nate took an easy step forward and kicked his legs out from under him. Next he knelt down over him in one quick move, pressing his knee to his chest and holding the baton over his throat.

"That's game Lambert, Pentecost." The ranger in charge argued and Nate stood up immediately, dropping his batons and watching Jake closely as he scrambled to his feet.

Neither of them said anything but Nate could see the fire behind Jake's eyes. That was when Nate let out his first smirk, small enough that Jake almost didn't catch it, but big enough to fire him up even more.

He held it in, until training ended, he held it in.

They walked to the dorms in a straight file line, one right after the other, Jake right behind Nate the whole way there. And as soon as they got in, and the rangers shut the door behind them, Jake took a step forward and put his booted foot straight into the back of Nate's knee.

He collapsed straight to the ground, his head slapping the tile hard, blood coming from his nose almost immediately. But he didn't let that stop him, he quickly bounced back up swinging himself around and knocking Jake onto the ground immediately.

The cadets crowded around as the fight kept up, one on top for one minute, the next on top the next, and never halting in violent aggressive movements. But all Jake could focus on was that Nate could match every single one of his hits. If he went for the face, Nate had an elbow up to block, counter and flip him over so he could go for the face.

"Ranger on deck!" One of the other cadets shouted but neither of them back off until they were physically being pulled off each other.

"Send Lambert to the infirmary." They ordered.

Nate slowly began limping off, holding his nose a bit with his other arm over the shoulder of the ranger while two cadets held Jake back.

"Send Cadet Pentecost to his fathers office." The ranger ordered and he was reluctantly pulled away.

He thought that the beating from Nate would hurt the most, but it was the scolding he got from his father that was the worst. Actually, he didn't mind it all too much. At least he had caught his attention.

He walked back to the dorms later that night but was too surprised to find Nate wasn't in his bunk. It wasn't that he was looking to apologize, it was that he was looking for something and he didn't even know what it was.

So he trekked back to the infirmary and found him in the first bed he saw.He didn't know what to do, he felt bad he put him there, sure, but he also did it because he wanted to. And that's why he hesitated in the doorway, he didn't know where to go, what he wanted to do.

"You just going to stand there?"

That was one of the first times he ever even heard him talk, he was the quietest cadet, only speaking when spoken to. And yet he had the mind of his own to step up now and make something close to a joke.

Nate was sitting on the edge of his bed, legs dangling off the side, hand grasping at his abdomen.

"I'm serious." Nate repeated.

Jake walked into the room, hands heavy in his pockets, eyes trained on the floor. The sight of him was enough to make Nate chuckle a bit. That made him lift his eyes, heavy eye contact hanging between them.

"You know, your face is a bitch to hit." Jake added dismissively, holding his right knuckle in his other hand, flexing it a bit, his knuckles still red and raw. He stared back down at them, anything was better than the hanging tension between their eyes, staring at his pretty eyes.

"You're not much better." Nate shot back with just as much fire on his tongue. That made Jake laugh, a hearty one from deep inside, made his eyes shoot up. "You hit me because I beat you or you hit me because you needed something to hit?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't think you're used to getting beat-"

"I needed something to hit." Jake defended, shaking his head a bit with a laugh, one Nate reciprocated.

"Get it out of your system?"

"For today." He added back.

"I'm Nate."

"Jake."

"Yeah I know that." Nate added, laying back in his bed with a sigh. "Beat someone else up tomorrow okay?"

"Alright old man." Jake quipped, giving him a nod and leaving the room with a bit of a chuckle.

He didn't know what he needed when he walked in there but as soon as he left he knew he had it.

The next two weeks of training were boring in comparison, and Jake was just bouncing in his seat to do something. So he did. No one ever said he had the best ideas.

"You coming?" Jake questioned, hanging on Nate's bed post with a bottle in one hand.

"To do something stupid? Hardly." Nate replied, flipping the page on his book and not even looking up.

"It's team bonding-"

"It's stupid." Nate corrected, finally looking up from his book.

"Okay well let me know if you need help getting that stick out of your ass." Jake added with a tinge of something behind his words as he pulled away.

Nate heard it. He wanted to pretend it was a joke but he heard it. He just let his eyes drift back to his book and tried to ignore it, but it wasn't the first time it happened, and not just with him either.

Nate heard it when some of the other cadets wanted to train with him, just enough bite on it. Not everyone noticed, but Nate couldn't ignore it. Jake would lash out at things just every so often and he would never once talk about it.

Like the next day in training, he hit cadet Matthews just a bit too hard, nearly knocked him unconscious. The rangers wouldn't say anything, they hated getting involved with him, not when his dad was their boss but Nate didn't have the same reservations.

"Jake, hold up." He shouted after him as they left the dorms on free time for the night. Usually Jake would hang around and joke with the some of the other cadets, but not tonight, he took off straight for the jaeger hanger.

"I'm busy-"

"Jake."

He caught him by the arm but Jake turned around and swung at him. He lunged out of the way fine but he was more concerned for what was happening inside his head.

"You can talk to me." Nate argued as he stepped forward, getting intimidatingly close to his face, he had a few good inches on him, so it was easy.

"This isn't a girl scout meet, Lambert, get your damn hand off me." He shot back, pushing his arm off him with even more vigor.

"I'm not going to fight you Jake-"

"Then you better back the hell up."

"Talk to me-"

"Lambert, if I have to tell you one more time, I'll put you back in that damn hospital bed."

So he stepped off, he let Jake head out his way, wherever he was heading. Nate just followed a few steps behind.

He found him ten minutes later hanging out at the top of the jaeger bay, sitting taller than the jaegers themselves. Nate's shoes must have been louder than he thought, because Jake must have heard him. He sniffled a bit and wiped his eyes before turning over his shoulder to see him.

"Got something to say?" He shot back angrily.

But Nate didn't say anything, he just sat down next to him and swung his legs over the rail like he had them.

"If you've got something to say-"

"I want to know what's going on with you." Nate pleaded a bit, it was completely genuine, that's what Jake noticed immediately. But he just shook his head and bit his tongue.

"You think we're buddies, you think we can chat and share our feelings like- like-" He couldn't even come up with the words. "You just wouldn't understand."

"Go ahead and try me."

He stopped, he hesitated, he watched. Nate looked back at him with sincerity, something he certainly wasn't used to, and those eyes. He couldn't deny how pretty blue they were, how melted they made him feel inside.

"You can keep lashing out, fine. But I suggest you start talking to someone." Nate argued, even moved to stand up, but Jake caught his hand and urged him back with his eyes, not needing to even say a word. So Nate sat back down, he sat there and he waited for him to say something, not pressuring him or anything, just sat there with his pretty blue eyes and waited.

"I don't belong here." Jake let slip out quietly, hardly audible over the ruckus below them.

"You have a perfect sim record, you-"

"I don't belong here." Jake repeated, locking eyes with him anxiously. "You belong here, the cadets belong here, I don't belong here."

"I haven't drifted with anyone yet, I can't even get inside that brain-"

"You can't do it and I don't care that I can." He chuckled out, shaking his head. Nate let out a laugh too, but he sounded a bit distant, like there was another thought on his mind.

"Come with me." Nate suggested, standing up and extending his hand to help Jake up as well.

"Nate I don't-"

"Get up, come on."

So he did, and he followed him through the entire base until they got to the training room, helmets sitting on the bench in front of the mats. Jake put the pieces together pretty quickly, grabbed the first helmet, Nate picking up the next one.

Neither of them said anything, they just loaded up the sim and put the helmets on.

Jake didn't know what he was trying to accomplish, but he went along with him anyways.

And before he knew it, the drift was being initiated and they both fell to the floor on their knees at the power rushing through their heads.

All of each other rushing through each other's heads.

Nate felt himself deep in a few memories that were certainly not his. He felt alone, he felt like a disappointment , he felt angry and all at the man standing above him. A man Nate knew only as his superior, a man Jake knew as both that and his father.

And in this memory, Jake was so small, he couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 if that even. The slap made his ears ring, and he felt it run through him with a certain ferocity. And he knew it wasn't the first time either. He knew it wasn't going to be the last.

Meanwhile Jake was seeing into his head as well.

And neither of them had ever been so open with one another before, they had never been so open with anyone before.

But the drift worked, after a few grueling seconds, they were connected.

It was a weird feeling. To be so open and so well reciprocated by one another. They didn't even get the sim open though. Jake disengaged it and ripped his helmet off, storming from the room as fast as he could.

Nate was close behind, chasing him from the room, straight into the neighboring room which was the cadet locker room. He heard the echo of his fist hitting metal but he kept chasing until he rounded a corner and saw Jake with his head against the locker, watched him it again with one solid punch.

"Jake I-"

"Whatever you saw-"

"Jake let me-"

"You can't say anything." Jake argued with a heavy breath as he pulled himself from the locker and came at him with more heat than usual.

"Jake-"

"I'm serious-"

"We drifted Jake." Nate shouted back to get his last word in, to get any word in, to shut Jake up. "I've never done that before."

"The hell do you want from me Nate-"

"I want you to look at me." Nate added, softer this time, softer this time. Soft.

Jake had never had softer. He had never had anyone give him soft.

He couldn't bring his eyes up, he couldn't do it.

"I thought you told Mako I had pretty eyes." Nate smirked out, reciting what he had overheard from the drift carefully, catching Jake's eyes as he slowly brought them up to meet his.

"It wasn't a compliment-"

"It sounded like a compliment-"

"It wasn't a compliment."

"Pretty eyes." He cooed out and Jake finally began to chuckle a bit. "Does drifting always feel like this?"

"Depends what you're feeling-" Jake started but he felt Nate's stare on him, he felt his stare and when he looked up to him, he saw exactly where it was hovering. Nate was quick to drag it back to his eyes, but Jake had caught him lingering just long enough on his lips to understand what was happening. Nate made a move to step back, to flinch away from it all but Jake caught his tight fitting uniform PPDC shirt in his hand and held him in the close distance he brought them into.

"Jake I-"

"I didn't- I-" Jake stuttered out but Nate took the step forward, closing the rest of the gap and pressing his lips down onto Jake's. Thankfully, Jake didn't pull away, if anything, he pulled closer, kissing back with as much vigor.

They only pulled away when the heard the door to the room open rows away, they were still hesitant to do so however, very overwhelmingly comfortable in each others presence.

They knew it was the worst kept secret of PPDC, people who are drift compatible had a tendency to be even more compatible socially, romantically. Seeing inside someone else's head, connecting with someone on a level much deeper than anyone on a regular day could. They knew that. They knew that and they didn't care. Because it was frowned upon by all definitions of the word bylaw.

And yet it kept happening.

The more drift simulations they did, the closer they got, despite keeping it as casual and hidden as possible.

And if you asked either of them separately, they'd say they were happy, especially as the training began coming to an end, and they were the best copilots in the entire program, some of the best anyone had seen in a while.

Until one night, it had been a pretty lack luster day in training, so most of the cadets had slipped back into the training room after release. Not Nate though, he was busy searching for Jake, who had been notoriously missing from the last hours of training.

He checked back at the dorm and was surprised to find him alone in the room, sitting on his bottom bunk facing away from the door, shoulders shrugged over.

"Jake?" He called out as he entered but he didn't turn around, he just tried to disappear farther into himself. "Jake, what's wrong-"

And then he saw it, his eye was purple and swollen, tears pouring down his face.

"Get away. Nate." He shouted back, scooting away from him as he approached carefully.

"Jake what happened?"

"Stop it, Nate."

Nate hesitated, he wanted to reach out and comfort him but he hesitated. He had never hesitated before, not with Jake, never.

"Stay away from me, Nate." He shouted back, slapping his comforting hand away.

"What happened? Your dad, did he-"

"Don't you dare." Jake threatened with a shaking voice.

"Jake-"

"You think because you can see in my head, that you know anything about me? You don't know nothing, Lambert, Nothing, about me." Jake shouted, standing up and beginning to pace a bit.

"Jake-"

"What? You think we kiss a few times, you see inside my head and what?" Jake shot back angrily, leaving Nate in a stunned silence. "I'm the perfect pilot, you just tag along and get me out of it too huh?"

His words were fierce, he didn't know why, they shot out of him before he could put on a filter.

And Nate didn't say anything back so he just kept going.

"No wonder not a single cadet could drift with you, you're a piece of work you- you-"

"Jake." His tone was rugged now, rough and inconsistent, he couldn't believe it. He had laid in the same bed with him, he had been inside his head and now he was only saying things to hurt him.

"What do you want from me Nate?" Jake near shouted his way as Nate angrily stood up to meet him. "What have you ever wanted from me?"

He wasn't saying things, he was searching for something, he wanted to egg him into a fight, he wanted a reaction. He was going to get it too. Just like the day he put himself in line next to him. He was looking for that fight

"The hell are you talking about Jake-"

"I'm good for you, I make you look better, you want me to be your copilot, you want to be the perfect ranger and I'm your ticket." He shouted back.

"No you-"

"I know who I am, and you clearly do too-"

"Jake I never-"

"Don't fucking lie to me Nate-"

"You think I give a damn about who you are, we're drift compatible, you've seen into my head-"

"I'm the only one who has, you are so pathetic you can't drift with anyone else." Jake shouted back, finally making the hair on the back of his neck stand up, completely on edge, he was pissing him off now, he was getting what he wanted out of him.

"I don't know what the hell your dad said to you-"

"Don't bring him into this, I swear to god Nate-"

"I've been in your head, who's doing the lying now, huh? Don't throw this on me because you've got daddy issues-"

"I've got daddy issues? You're the pathetic cadet who is afraid of coming out of the fucking closet, of disappointing a man who isn't even here." Jake kept up, shouting his way, secretly thankful for the empty dorm.

"I'm private Jake I-"

"You're afraid, of coming out, of being seen with me, of getting kicked out of the program because you're just as pathetic as you think you are."

"I'm pathetic? huh? You're the one who won't stand up and admit his father beats the shit out of you. That he has for years, that you're here solely to crave his attention, and you're still not good enough." Nate shouted back, the same anger rushing through him now, he set it off inside of him.

"I'm not good enough? I was good enough for you, I'm the best in the program-"

"And what? If you're so good what the hell happened today, he certainly didn't congratulate you on being so great." Nate continued, stepping forward to tower over him.

"You don't know what happened to me-"

"Maybe if it hadn't happened before, but it has, I stand around and help you pick up the pieces, time and time again. If I'm so pathetic, what the hell does that make you?" Nate added, breathing heavily at this point, chest rising up and down as he watched Jake's do the same.

"Fine." Jake finalized, storming off easily, hitting his shoulder hard as he passed.

Nate just collapsed down back on his bed, sighing with his head in his hands. He knew he was baited, he knew it and yet he gave him what he wanted, he shouted and yelled and said thing he certainly didn't mean. Or maybe he did mean them. He didn't think he did but why would he say it if he didn't mean it.

Jake had fought with his father earlier, he had sat in his office and listened to him yell at him for his performance and for his explicit relations with his copilot. It didn't matter he was the best cadet there had ever been, that they were a duo for the ages, all that mattered was that he wasn't perfect. So his dad hit him when he talked back to him.

He hit him, he pissed him off and he sent him looking for a fight.

He found it in Nate, but he found much more than he was looking for. And now he was even more pissed off. So he stormed off to the jaeger hanger with the stupidest idea any one could have.

If Nate thought he was pathetic, he'd show him he wasn't, he had something to prove, he had too much to prove.

He knew that when he got into the jaeger, he knew that it was wrong, but none of that stopped him from turning everything on and taking her for a spin.

The insane amount of neural overload was too much, he thought he could muster through, but he only got two steps.

Before he knew it, he blacked out.

And he was on a ship out of the base before he even had time to think what he was leaving behind. Or rather who.


End file.
